Overheard: Vandalism of the worst kind

There is this really funny website called, "Over heard in the office". I read it quite often. Now, this website can be a little much for me. So, don't go to it unless you can handle it. Crap, i just realized most the websites I visit I have to give disclaimers for...

Maybe it's time to reevaluate my standards.

Well......

I'll do that next week....

So anyway, people can submit funny things they overhear in their office and then they are posted every hour throughout the week. I have always wanted to submit an "overheard" post because I love eavesdropping on other people's conversations. It's another one of my guilty pleasures.

So today, I was lucky enough to hear something so awesome that I could no longer wait to submit. I think I will now start doing my own "overheard" posts. I have many friends who do these already - and I always enjoy them. So, without further adieu...

Overheard:
Cube neighbor: Ok guys.... who wrote "boobs" in my zen garden?

Count on me to judge a book by it's cover....

Today I wanted to spend my lunch time reading. So, since I thought of this genius plan at about 12:15, the only way I was going to accomplish this is if I went and bought a book.

So, I made my way over to The Great Outdoor Mall Downtown and proceeded to walk to Barnes and Noble.

First, I passed by the hordes of women and their children playing in the fountain. Seriously, that grosses me out. If any of you do that, you should stop. AND, AND, I noticed that The Great Outdoor Mall Downtown is now providing umbrella shades around the fountain. This must stop!!! And no ladies, this is not a public pool. Pay the $10 and go to a public pool that has chlorine. Your children will thank you. Oh, and I will thank you too.

Anyway, so my goal was to buy one of Jodi Picoult's books. I love her. Her first book that I read was My Sister's Keeper. And let me tell you, that book is a keeper.

However, upon entering B&N, I was instantly distracted by one of my guilty pleasures - the chick flick book. I was instantly drawn to the cover - a high-heel shoe with three bling blinging diamond rings around the stiletto heel. Sold! I pretty much didn't even need to read what the book was about. Shoes and diamond rings is enough to sell me.


So, in an effort to at least be the educated, respectable woman I am - I also bought a Jodi Picoult book, Second Glance.

Now, I had my books, all I needed was lunch. However, I was slightly embarrassed by my recent chick flick book purchase and was now worried about the looks I would get while eating lunch reading a book with a stiletto high-heel on the cover. So, my solution to this problem was simple. No, it was not: Read Jodi Picoult's Book First. It was: Take Off Cover of Chick Flick Book and Hide in Car.

Done and Done.

Thank you. You can now all tell me how smart I am.

It's like this...

....i've been in Lake Powell relaxing my tired self this past week. Thank you Agency X for allowing me to take 3 days off when I haven't accrued any time. My tan skin thanks you for it.

There's a New Sheriff In Town

Last night I attended an awards banquet for the Utah Highway Patrol. You might be thinking, "WTF?" but really you should be thinking, "that makes sense." I mean, I have had my share of run ins with law. Hell, I should be on a first name basis with most of them by this point. The only logical reason for Natalie to be attending an awards banquet for the UHP is if she is winning an award for most speeding tickets in a 3 months span.

I kid. I kid.

My friend Justin was accepting an award for his dad at the event and needed a date. He must have realized that I am the epitome of a perfect citizen OR saw through my disguise and just figured if he got pulled over for this broken taillight that he could just rat me out, see me off in handcuffs and not have to bother driving me home. He's a smart man that Justin.

Anyway, instead of a trophy that would just collect dust, Justin's dad got this cool HP hat. I instantly thought, "yep, getting a picture of Justin in THAT!"

And so, when he dropped me off, I made him take a picture. Oh, and then he made me take one too. I am going to save this picture on my camera, and next time i get pulled over, because inevitably i know I will, I'll just show the policeman this picture and I'm sure he'll back away. There's no messing with this...

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth

*I stole this "memorandum" idea from my good friend Mar. This will not be a recurring post feature, but is something that needed to be said...

Memorandum
To: Mormon Couples of The World
From: Natalie
CC: My Blog Readers
Date: 6/8/2008
Re: Church PDA

After 8 years of attending a singles ward, and numerous times sitting behind couples like you, I find it necessary to write you a memorandum stating my dislike of your PDA during Sunday School - or any church meeting to be exact.

I understand you are in love, or lust, or like - but please refrain yourself for 3 hours on Sunday. There is a time and a place - and church isn't one of them.

I do not appreciate watching you both try and sit on one chair. There are chairs in the classrooms on purpose - not love seats. One chair per person. And watching the poor girl in this relationship sit with one cheek on her chair and one on yours is more than I can handle. You might want to talk to the bishop if you would like to see other forms of seating. But for now, can you please sit in your respective spaces.

I also would like you to stop whispering to each other. Yes, I could thank you for being polite and whispering, but you talk so softly that 1)I can't hear what you are saying (I mean, you are already distracting me from paying attention to the lesson, you can at least have the decency of letting me hear what you are talking about). And 2) You are whispering so softly that your lips are practically in your boyfriend/girlfriends ear. It is kind of disgusting. Actually, really disgusting. Please stop.

And one more thing, if you are going to nuzzle your face in your girlfriends neck - please do it in the privacy of your bedroom. I really REALLY don't want to watch it. And you know what, either does the Big Guy Upstairs.

Also to note, the fact that you have to share your scriptures is another topic in and of itself.

Furthermore, your PDA fest has distracted me so much that I have no idea what the Sunday School lesson was on today. In fact, I was so distracted that I made Kenzi take a picture on her phone - only because I was sitting to close to that "action" to get a decent shot.


In conclusion, if you are one of these couples - please stop. It's distracting. It's gross. And really, it really just makes me sick.

Let us all institute nap time...

The lobby of my work building isn't really a lobby so much as a long hallway.  And just right inside the doors and around the corner are a pair of couches. Not a day goes by when I don't pass those couches and think, "how nice would it be to take a nap."

Today, was no exception.  However today, someone actually took a nap on them.  As I was walking to the restroom, I passed by the couches and there was a man. dressed in work clothes, sprawled out on one of the couches - dead asleep.    

I did my business in the bathroom and walked by the couches again.  Yep, confirmed. Strange man is dead asleep.  I was a little jealous.

However, this middle-of the-day nap reminded me of an incident that happened to me not so long ago.  About 10 months ago to be exact.  

I had joined the gym (yet again) and of course had the new-gym-member-motivation (and yes, it only lasted about a week).  I decided that I would get up early and go to the gym at 6 am.  So, that morning when my alarm went off, I actually got up and worked out.  

By 11 am that day, I was falling asleep at my desk. All I wanted to do was take a nap.  I decided that I would go home for lunch, read Harry Potter (it had just come out) and rest my tired eyes.  And so, I went home for lunch.  I read for 30 minutes and looked at my watch. It was 12:45. I needed to leave.  Oh, but I was still so tired.  I thought, "I just need to rest my eyes for one minute." I rested my book on my chest and closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes and looked at my watch. 1:45 pm. Oh good, not a minute has gone by. WAIT.. WHAT???? 1:45????? No way. NO WAY!?  In a matter of one second, I had thrown my book off my chest, grabbed my keys and was in my car racing back to work. However, I seriously was still half asleep. I actually had to hold my eyelids open.  I compare the feeling to when I am really really tired and am watching a really good movie... I want to stay awake, but for the life of me can't keep my eyes open.  Now, imagine that - and then try to drive to work.  

Needless to say, I don't go home for lunch anymore.  Oh, and I don't go to the gym either - but that is only because I am lazy.

You all should listen to me...

A couple a weeks ago I had a conversation with my friend Lindsay about a popular blog - Dooce.com. Lindsay had just been introduced to Dooce (aka Heather Armstrong) by watching a segment on Nightline...or some other grown up show like that. And since Lindsay is married and has two children, I will not judge her for watching such a show. I on the other hand spend my time watching The Bachelorette and The Hills. It's just the way I am.

Anyway, when I told Lindsay that I had read dooce.com for well over a year, she asked me, "well why haven't you blogged about it?" I told her that dooce.com was on my sidebar links under "web based research". I was then informed that my link list is crap - and that I should post about it.

So, what Lindsay is telling me is that my opinion matters? People will read what I tell them? They will do as I do? They will like what I like? Yea, I don't know if I can handle that kind of power.

Ok, wait... I can.

So, here you go. Here are a few links to my all time favorite blogs. The ones I read EVERYDAY. They are the ones that I find are never fake, always make me laugh and will forever keep me coming back for more.

Mars-Musings

Shimmy Gurr Shimmy

Mormon Child Bride

Holtywood

Dooce

Disclaimer: In response to Lindsay’s comment on this post, I am warning you all that Dooce.com is not the cleanest of blogs. Some posts are rated G – others rated R. Just a warning. Thank you for your time