This is why I love my parents

Recently I stumbled upon a hilarious blog titled Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook. I will call it OCMPJF for the purpose of this post. OCMPJF is a website where people can send screenshots of ridiculous posts/comments/messages that their parents have "facebooked" and those screenshots will be posted on the blog. Clearly, a brilliant idea.

Luckily for me, I cannot contribute to this blog because my parents think Facebook is a waste of time and have not joined. And I tell them they are right everyday. EVERYDAY. Because OCMPJF said it right when they said, "Family. Can't Facebook with 'em, can't unFriend 'em!"

After wetting myself from laughter from a good 30 minutes spent on this site, I noticed a frequent trend among parents and their posts on Facebook. Many comments are signed with their name, ie: "mom"/"dad". Clearly, no one has told them that a signature is not needed on such communications.

Case in point (from OCMPJF):

Laughing. Very. Hard.

Come to think about it, the signature doesn't stop there. Text messages with signatures are my favorite. Recently, a friend told me of the following text from her own mom, "Your father is teaching me how to text! love, mom." So sweet. So thoughtful. So hilarious.

Kim and Penel are actually pretty savvy and have mastered text messaging quite well. I mean, they do have a son that sent over 15,000 text messages in one month, so they quickly learned if they ever wanted to get a hold of him, they better learn to text.

And that they did. I do get an occasional "love, mom" salutation on my texts. And every time, I smile. Kind of reminds me of when my mom would make my lunches in elementary school and would write notes to me on the napkin. You know, stuff like "Have a great day. Love you, Mom" or "I love you. Mom". At the time I was mortified of such notes. But now, I think I would kind of like it.

I am going to request my mom send me text messages every day with such loving sayings. It will be known as The Sack Lunch Note of the 21st Century.

If McDonalds has it's way with me, my fortune won't come true

The other day, I received a late birthday present from my friend. This is what she gave me:


I am pretty sure she knows me well. Anyone who will buy me a McDonalds gift card clearly knows my weakness. What makes this present even better is that The Biggest Loser is starting in just a few short weeks. And, do you remember my tradition? I'll use this gift card for the season premier.

If it's not McDonalds I am eating, it is most likely Pei Wei. About a month ago I got this fortune:
And yes, I did write the date on it. I also stuck it on my fridge. August 29th is just a few short days away. I'll let you know how it goes.

You got red flags? You want to go out?

Yesterday, I was in deep discussion with a friend about a few certain men in our lives. We both shared the same belief that neither her, nor my crush are particularly good for us. But for some reason, we are drawn to these guys that we know don't fit the bill.

And so today, I sent her the following ecard to demonstrate our stupidity when it comes to men:

I told her I am not opposed to an intervention. Sometimes, I even demand it.

Natalie rage on Monday morning is never a good thing

Dear SOB who broke into my car and stole my golf clubs,

You suck. That long string of profanities that existed my mouth this morning was directly solely at you. I hope Karma comes and kicks you in the face. But if I find you first, I won't be so nice.

Hate you,
Natalie

It's like being in People Magazine, but without the fame and fortune

So, remember when I met Katherine Heigl? Well, I am 99% sure it was that two minute interaction which must have caused her to start stalking me. I know what you're thinking... isn't it the other way around? To that I would say no. Obviously, she was impressed by my unwashed hair and wrinkled pajama outfit. I mean, who wouldn't be? Right?

So, I meet Katherine. Yada yada yada. What's the big deal? Well, do you notice anything similar with these two pictures?

Katherine is totally copying my wardrobe. And who knew Katherine shopped at Express? She is really one with the people.

My coworker who took this picture really wanted me to do a "Who Wore it Best" bit here on my blog. So I ask you Internet friends, who wore it best?

I now understand why I didn't date much back then...

Today, I renewed my passport. I am almost more excited about getting a new picture than I am the vacation I am going on. Because if your passport picture looked like this, you would understand. And yes, the quality sucks. I do realize that.


This by far is the worst picture I have ever taken. I can't even begin to tell you what is wrong with it. Well, I can. And I will. 1) The hair. Oh gosh, the hair. Flat iron and I had not yet become acquainted. We now have quite the love affair and I never leave home without him. 2) The eyebrows. Apparently I hadn't heard of plucking prior to the year 2000. 3) The earrings. Actually, the earrings were totally hip back in 2000. Who wouldn't want fake pear shaped diamonds hanging from their earlobes? And last but certainly not least, 4) the lipstick that matches the shirt.

I can't believe I actually walked out of the house looking like this. I'm so embarrassed for myself. You better believe the day my new passport comes, I will post a before and after shot. And then you will all see why I am glad I am 27, and not 17.