I'm registered at Sego Lily Spa

A little over a year ago I joined some friends in the small town of Lindon to get massages at the local massage college. When I learned that I would be getting my massage in a huge room separate by white sheets, I cried a little to myself. This was no way to get a massage. I don't really know what I was expecting. A steam room? A nice plush robe? Lemon water served in an ice cold glass? Yes please. I'll take all of the above.

Massage college had none of the above.

However, Sego Lily Spa does. And that is why I have chosen to enter their contest to become the official, Sego Lily Blogger. Because who wouldn't want to write about getting hot oil poured all over their body? Or the pedicure that makes you want to take a week off work and sunbathe in Hawaii? Sign me up. And then don't bother me so I can enjoy my treatments.

Winner of this prestigious title receives FREE spa treatments for an entire year - just for blogging about their experiences.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: I'm single. I may never get married. I may never have a shower thrown for me where I am pampered. So loyal friends, I'm throwing myself a shower - much like Carrie on Sex and the City except instead of registering at Manolo Blahnik, I am entering a contest. And if I am a finalist, your gift will be to vote for me to win. You won't even have to spend any money. How thoughtful am I?

I encourage all to enter here. And by encourage I don't really mean enter, because then my chances of winning will decrease. I mean check out the link, and then tell me how much I truly deserve to become the official, Sego Lily Blogger.

The cornbread was new, unlike my next date

Last night my grandpa came over for dinner. I don't see him very often because he lives in Wayne County. What? You don't know where Wayne county is? Well, either do I. Ok, I do. It's in the central/southern Utah. But going down there requires me to hike and do small town activities that are too exhausting for me to even think about.

Anyway, Grandpa D* took it upon himself to ask me if I wanted to be set up because he "knows a really extraordinary man". I am deeply concerned why my grandpa, that I only see about twice a year, has taken it upon himself to find me a man. When I asked him who this guy is and how he knows him he replied, "I grew up with him."

Really? REALLY?

My grandpa is 80. My life is depressing.

On another note, I would like to use this post as my formal retraction to this post. I mistakenly wrote that my friend and former home-teacher re-gifted our christmas present. He was hurt by this allegation and demanded a retraction. I informed him that I would write a retraction if, and only if, we baked us more cornbread.

And so he did.

Brady, I am sorry. Please forgive me. And please make us more cornbread. It was delicious.

Running is not in my vocabulary

This last weekend was the Canyonlands 1/2 Marathon down in Moab. No, I didn't run it. Must I reiterate that besides my new hobby (previous post), I rarely exert myself in any form of physical exercise. But, I do have a lot of friends who choose a healthier lifestyle than me and I support them in those choices. And by support I mean join them on a fun road trip, sleep while they are running and then meet them at the finish line to congratulate them.

So, what I am trying to say is that I went to Moab this past weekend. We hiked, ate, slept, [they] ran and then ate some more. The weather was awesome and I discovered that I have seasonal depression, which can only be cured by a long weekend and warm weather.

A few pics from Arches:



And a few pictures of my friends that ran the 1/2 marathon. Look how happy they all are that they are done. Pretty sure I was just as happy that I didn't run it. Because if I had, they would have been waiting about 2 more hours before I crossed the finish line. Congrats to all that ran! You're better people than I will ever be.



And just because, I took a picture of this total stranger. He was hot. That was my only reason for taking his picture. Pretty sure that was his girlfriend next to him. I have no shame.

The spandex is the least of my worries

When I first learned to ride a bike, I was terrified of turning right. I would circle round and around at the bottom of my street only making left turns. I've accepted that I might have been directly challenged and somewhat of a wuss - but at least I was finally able to teach myself to turn right and conquer my fear. However, to this day my family still makes fun of me.

So, I hadn't ridden a bike since I was probably 12. Oh wait, I take that back. When I was 18 Katelyn and I went on a 14 mile bike ride, in the middle of the summer, during a heat wave because we thought that the wind in our faces would make the heat seem less hot. We were wrong. So wrong. And my butt hurt for like 2 weeks after that. I swore I would never ride a bike again.

Well, I was 18 and stupid and didn't think that one day I would actually want to ride a bike again. You know, for fun. And for exercise. Who knew? And so, I purchased a bike. A road bike. I know those who know me are in shock at this seemingly uncharacteristic thing I just did. But yep, I am actually going to do something that requires me to work. I've turned over a new leaf.


I purchased the shoes and clips and the day I went on my first ride I woke up sick with anxiety. Having my feet fixed to my peddles was officially freaking me out. I text my dad and told him that I may or may not need him to hold the back of my bike like he did when I was 6. He declined. And this is what happened:

Yep. I totally fell. It wasn't like I was outside my house, either. I was turning on a busy road. I successfully unclipped one foot but apparently leaned to the other side and oops...Natalie's laying on the road ready to get run over. I only cried to myself when a guy pulled over and yelled, "Oh my gosh, are you ok?"

And in true Natalie fashion, I took a picture two days later to document the progress of my wound. Yes, I knew it was going to leave a mark.

Now, if it would just stop snowing so I could go out and embarrass myself again, I would appreciate it.

I don't know you, but will you be my friend?

I have been a faithful member of Facebook for about a year and a half. I joined because I liked a boy who sent out invites to get togethers via Facebook and I didn't want to be left out of the fun. Really, I just wanted to see what girls were posting on his wall and who my competition was. I can admit this now because I don't like this boy and could care less if he knew. I'll call him and tell him to read this post.

Anyway, a few months ago my friend D wanted to set me up with her brother-in-law. Well, and by set me up she wanted us to be friends on Facebook and then have us decide if we are interested in each other. I told her I don't like being friends with people on Facebook that I have never had a face-to-face conversation with. This clearly did not make it to D's brother-in-law because about 10 minutes later I got a "friend request" by him. And so naturally, I added him.

And then I never heard from him. Guess he didn't think I was cute. Sad. That's always a blow to the self-esteem. But lucky for me, I lost all dignity and pride when I was like 18 so pretty much it didn't phase me. I eventually just deleted him as a friend because 1) I've never met him and 2) I've never met him. Oh, and then I forgot that I deleted him.

Because just yesterday D was telling me that Jake (the infamous bro-in-law) posted cute videos of her little boy on Facebook. I got on to Facebook and WTF? I'm not friends with him. I instantly im'd D and told her Jake deleted me as his friend. Sad. About 20 minutes later D im'd me back to inform me that Jake denies deleting me. Oh. My. Gosh. I deleted him. And totally forgot about it. And then accused him of deleting me.

She wants me to add him back as a friend. Doubtful. I'm done embarrassing myself via the Internet. Well, maybe not done. I wouldn't have anything to blog about if that were the case.

It's my ticket to fame on reality tv

A few months ago, my coworker sent out an email soliciting to purchase Girl Scout Cookies from her daughter. I thought I was all strong and was not going to be tempted by the lure of the Thin Mint or the intoxicating taste of a Tag-a-long.

So, I didn't order any.

And then last week when my desk neighbor had like 50 boxes of GSC on her desk, I was all, "Do you think she will notice if one or ten are missing?"

And so, since I go through this every year, I looked up the location of where the Girl Scouts set up camp. And I went there with cash. Determined not to let the bank track how much I spent on GSC. Because, I already have to stare at my bank statement and see how much I spend at McDonalds. It's shocking. What's more shocking is that most my purchases are on Tuesdays. And on Tuesday's I watch The Biggest Loser. It's kind of sad. I sit there and eat McDonalds while I watch people work out. I'm all, "Wow, that looks so hard! You guys are doing SO great! Yum, that cheeseburger was delicious!" You think I'm kidding? I'm totally not.


And so, as I type this post I am eating a delicious Tag-a-long. Guaranteed they are gone by the end of the weekend. Just don't be shocked if I am on next season's cast of The Biggest Loser.

Supply vs. Demand and I win

The other day I went to Smith's to purchase some vitamins. I know it sounds great and all that I am an adult and purchasing vitamins, but the real reason I bought them is to make my hair grow. Not because I need my daily dose of nutrients. It's how I roll.

I went to the store on my lunch break. Bad decision. Never enter a grocery store when you are hungry. Because everything looks good. That dog food? Yea, I could maybe eat that. Those Pork Rinds? Yea, those don't look that bad.

While at the store, I convinced myself that I needed more food at my desk at work. I clearly don't have enough in my drawer*:


I walked out of the Smiths with the following items:

1. Alive Multi-vitamins
2. Apples (3)
3. Toffee/Carmel dipping sauce
4. Bag of mini carrots
5. Hummus

My total was $48. WTF? This is why I do not go grocery shopping. I end up spending a crazy amount of money and still walk away saying, "I have nothing to eat." This $48 only confirms my decision to eat out for almost every meal.

And since I eat out for almost every meal - it's always great when I have an excuse other than, "I haven't gone grocery shopping in 8 months". On Wednesday night I went to 5 Guys to celebrate my friend Kevin's birthday. I ended up being the only girl with 6 dudes. I'm not complaining. Because what girl wouldn't want to hang out with 6 guys all by herself? However, when the dinner conversation turned to hunting and how animals fight - I was all, "I have nothing to contribute to this conversation" and I started filing my nails. Ok, I didn't. I maybe just thought about it.

*Please pass no judgment on my food stash at work. Because if you worked with me, you would be coming to me every day saying, "what do you got?" And I would be all, "I am not a grocery store. Ok, maybe I am. That granola bar will cost you $1."

Do us all a favor and cover up...

A couple of weeks ago my heathen* friend, Amanda went to the Draper temple open house. When I first heard she was going to the open house I was shocked and immediately instant messaged her:

Me: I've heard a rumor
Amanda: Oh, [gosh]. What, pray tell?
Me: That you signed up for a tour of the Draper temple. Hell has frozen over. You go to the temple for a tour and before you know it you are converting and will be the new Relief Society President.
Amanda: Sweet! Every night will be craft night.

I'm pretty sure she is telling me she wants me to send the missionaries to her house. Because, when I followed up with her after she did the tour, she told me she was converting. You can even ask her. And if she lies, I totally have my Google Chat record to prove her otherwise. Sarcasm doesn't translate in Google Chat, my friend.

Ok, I kid I kid. You see, Amanda and I really did have a chat about her experience. And she did actually enjoy it. Plus one for us Mormons. Yay!

However, she did express her disgust for the dress of many of the young LDS girls who were also at the open house. Amanda, who did her research and had read to dress in "Sunday attire", wore dress pants. And to her, Sunday attire is nice dress pants. Nothing wrong with that. She's no mo - so how would she know? But when she got there and a group of young women were barely covered - she began to wonder what is more appropriate; dress pants or short skirts?


Apparently, she felt like she got a few stares from people because she wasn't in a skirt. But for goodness sake, shouldn't the stares be left to the half naked 15 year old girls in front of her? Where on earth are these girls mothers? And more importantly, why did the YW leaders not say something to the girls for their lack of modesty?

Inappropriate dress for church is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate it when girls wear flip flops to church. UGGS are even worse. Oh, and sandals in the dead of winter. Please, do us all a favor and put on a pair of nylons and a nice pair of pumps. Or, did you forget that you are going to church? A place where you participate in ordinances that are sacred in the eyes of God.

Ok, I do realize that I am by no means the best mormon. I swear, I see rated R movies, I mean...the list can go on. My blog is not the place for me to air my dirty laundry - i'll leave that for the bishops office. But, yes I'm imperfect. People are imperfect. And no, you can't judge the truthfulness of a church by the imperfect people that are in it. But, the truth is that people watch us and can be influences by our actions.

I'm glad that overall Amanda had a nice experience at the temple. She's totally one step closer to converting. I can feel it!


*I would call Amanda a heathen to her face. She's probably even like it.