Single Mo'ness at it's finest

This past weekend I went to California with a few girlfriends to lay on the beach and do nothing. Well, not nothing. My goal was to further ruin my skin by getting tanner than I have in years. I think I was successful in my endeavors.


On Friday night, we heard of a birthday party for some random girl that lived down in Orange County. One very nice thing about being a single Mo is that no matter where you go in this world, you instantly have a social scene to work with. And this weekend was no exception. We were informed that this party was a "dance party". I immediately got social anxiety just thinking about it and could see the party playing out in my head. Awkward music? Check. Awkward dancing? Check. Awkward boys? Double Check. Truly, the makings of a totally memorable night.

And that is was. For when we pulled up and saw this, I was all, THIS IS AWESOME!




We thought we would only stay for 10 minutes - 15 max. But, somehow we stayed over and hour. Of course, leave it to me to get picked up on by a creepy dude. He was all handsy and thought he could break the "touch barrier" because it was loud. Sorry dude, you don't know my name, now get your hand off the small of my back or I might have to hit you.

Now, I do realize that if I had been attracted to the dude that was touching the small of my back I would have had a completely different reaction. However, the bottom line is the guy had really crooked teeth. And I just can't get past poor dental care.

Productivity might be measured by the size of my computer screen

My desk at work is pretty small. Like so small I can reach my hand out and hit the girl next to me if she was bugging me. Lucky for her, I like her. So that won't be necessary. My last job I had an office that I blogged about and loved. But the days of me shutting the door on my boss are long gone and I now work in a very open work space. At first, I was not happy about moving from a job that gave me an office to job that gave me a cubicle. And actually still to this day I lust after the offices at my work. But I realized that this job is much better than my last, so I will stop complaining.

This open work space business does limit me from playing on Facebook or reading celebrity gossip blogs - which, if my work was slow would seriously be a problem. But lately I have been so busy at work I have barely had time to pee, let alone check my news gossip feed on Facebook. People have asked me "what's the gossip" and I honestly can't tell them. It's kind of sad.

I work off a very nice MacBook Pro at work. I love it. I even have a nicer laptop than my boss. Not quite sure how that happened, but I am not complaining. Earlier this week one of the web developers needed to take my laptop on a business trip. I was a little nervous about turning over my computer into the hands of a web developer. But he tied my hands behind my back and took my computer from me. I cried that night and considered calling in sick to work the next day.

However, when I got to work I had this pretty computer as a replacement:

I was mesmerized by the size of her screen and I instantly wanted to be friends with her. Her, being the computer. I would be proud to work with her everyday. Even if it meant having her viewable by every inch of the office. We bonded and work was great.

But today, my little MacBook Pro was returned to me. I missed him. And even though I got a new friend for a few days, I welcomed him back with open arms. If not for anything, but for the fact that I need to check Facebook at least once a day.

Throwing fashion to the wind

I don't really fit into the cyclist community just yet by evidence of this picture:


Yes, I wore my big mother sunglasses on my bike ride this weekend. Oh, and I wore a tank top. I don't have the cool bike outfit or the gloves or the fancy sunglasses. I'm all wrong here. However, I didn't fall. And so, I think it was a successful ride.

I am however deathly scared of crossing lanes of traffic to turn left at a light. I am tempted to buy one of those little mirrors that attach to my helmet. Will I look like total tool if I do that? Probably. But it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. So, the next time you see a girl with big sunglasses, unofficial riding attire and a mirror stuck to the side of her head - honk and wave. I need all the encouragement I can get.

Polygamist +Tattoos + Beer = My Cruise

Ok, so instead of posting a bizillion pictures from my cruise, I have chosen to post just a few of my favorites and included a few exaggerations to each one. Becuase really, what is a story for my blog if I can't completely over exaggerate?

I was really glad that our ship didn't sink like the Titanic. However, even if we had, we would have been safe according to the below picture. Pretty sure my lifevest smelled like urine. If we had gone down, I would have given that vest to Gavin and pretended like it was his all along.


Our first stop was Nassau, Bahamas - home of the infamous Atlantis. I was hoping our girl Britney Spears would have been there, but no such luck. I figured if this place was good enough for Brit Brit, then it was good enough for me. When we found out that the waterpark adventure was going to cost us $110, we all looked at each other and handed over our credit cards. Best $110 I have ever spent.

After we all got burned to a crisp, the next day was spent on the beach in the shade at Half Moon Cay, Bahamas.

So we wouldn't look like a Polygamist couple from Utah, Kenzi and I got ourselves some tramp stamps and Gavin got himself an arm tatt. We also did a photoshoot to document our tattoos. When we got them, they gave us a card for "tattoo care". It said, "your tattoo will last 1 to 5 days". Well, glad I just paid $15 for it to last one day. Awesome.

Our final stop was at Grand Turk - which pretty much had the most beautiful water I have ever seen. We boycotted the cruise's excursion and took a cab to a small "mom and pop" dive stop and boarded a tiny boat to scuba dive in the crystal clear water.

The highlight of Grand Turk was our cab ride back to the ship. Don't ask me how we ended up in a cab with a drunk cab driver, but we did. Because when he said, "Is there a beer back there?" and reached around and pulled out a Heinekin and took a swig, I was all, I AM GOING TO DIE! AND HOW CAN I GET ME SOME OF THAT?

I didn't realize that clothes were optional on Miami Beach.

I'm home. I'm safe. I'm alive. Oh, and I'm tan. I thought about applying 45SPF the entire time so I wouldn't end up looking like I am 50 when I am 30. But then I realized that appearance is everything and I need to look good now, so I bagged it and laid out until I was burnt to a crisp. Hurt like a mo' fo' to take a shower, but man it was worth it. My brother in law told me today that I looked like a Latina. I take that as the highest of compliments. I'll worry about the wrinkles later.

Moving on. The cruise was a success. I ate as much fried food as I could consume, drank about 6 Coke's a day and took about 30 naps. I feared that I wouldn't even make it to the cruise when I saw this guy in the airport:

WTF? That book he was holding, yea it was some sort of religious book with strange symbols in it. Luckily, there was no suicide mission and I made it to Miami without incident.

We spent the day in Miami on Sunday where the highlights consisted of: Public transportation to and from the beach with a homeless man that wet himself and stunk up the entire bus. A g-string bikini* 2 feet in front of me on the beach. And dinner with a crack whore and her boyfriend, 5 gangsta's who's vocabulary strictly consisted of the F word, and a homeless man that jumped in front of us in line only to apologize and say, "I'm in a rush". Seriously dude? You're homeless.

The trip could have ended there and I would have been satisfied. Well, not really satisfied, but it provided me with post for my blog.

I'll gather my pictures and post about my trip in the next couple of days.

*Of course I took a picture of the almost naked chick by me on the beach. Welcome to Miami.

You've lost my attention if your name doesn't say "drive-thru"

With this stupid "fitness plan" I mistakenly agreed to, I am at a loss for what to eat for lunch while at work. I have never been one to pack a lunch, I just don't have it in me. Really, it would just require me to think ahead and I don't have one conscious thought that runs through my head in the morning so that's clearly out of the picture.

The old Natalie would go to Wendy's two days out of the week. Oh, I miss that Natalie. I really do. Life was so easy. It really came down to the convenience factor. Fast food is just that...fast.

I have been wishing that something quick, healthy and cheap would come along in a drive-thru form. Is it really that difficult to get healthy food quickly? Yes, I do know about Subway. But let's be honest, I can't have a sandwich without a half a pound of mayonnaise on it. "Yes, Subway worker, I would like some sandwich with that mayonnaise. Thank you for asking."

Anyway, in a modern day miracle my prayers were answered. This was my reaction to the news:
Yes, this was exciting news if it prompted me to take a picture for the sole purpose of my blog - something I haven't done in well over 6 months. So, here is it - a drive-thru sushi restaurant.

Now don't freak out, I had my worries too. Drive-thru sushi? Seriously? Must be horrible. But oh, quite the opposite. It was pretty good. I mean, it was no Takahi Crunchy Ebi Roll, but it was worth the $6 I spent on 8 pieces. And the whole experience took about 5 minutes.

I might make it through this fitness plan after all.

Oh wait. I leave for my cruise tomorrow. Maybe I won't.

And just to leave you for a week with one parting picture....here you go. This is what I will be doing for the next week.

Love you all!