So, I just found out that I didn’t get a job that I really REALLY wanted. I’m super bummed. The job was with Coke. COKE! Yes, the beverage company that I have solely kept in business with my extensive drinking habits. For a split second I considered sticking it to “the man” and switching to Pepsi. But, then I realized that my life would then truly suck for two reasons: 1) I wouldn’t have that cool job that I wanted so badly and 2) I would be drinking Pepsi. I would rather just drink water… or go crawl in a hole. Either way, life would just suck without Coke.
When I told my friend Miranda that Coke made the mistake of not offering the job to me, she replied back, “If it makes you feel any better, Amanda got pooped on by a bird leaving work last night.”
Thank you small innocent bird for your impeccable aiming skills. And thank you Amanda, for, well, for just getting pooped on. Helps me remember that in life, we all get pooped on sometimes.