Once upon a time, I lived in a cute, but ultimately creepy spider infested house with my good friend Megan. Megan and I both lived in the basement of said house and were frequently visited by these creepy, crawly, hairy nuisances - Megan’s bedroom being the home base for the majority of the spiders.
Megan and I soon realized that our colony of creepy friends weren’t going away without a fight. One day, I came home from work to find Megan with a spray gun of insect killing ammunition going to town on our basement. I laughed, she laughed, and we both smiled as we watched spider after spider shrivel under the power of the killer. Life was good.
However, much to our dismay, no insect killer bought at Home Depot was strong enough to terminate these suckers. Night after night spiders would appear. We eventually started naming them – down the alphabet we went: Abby, Beatrix, Casey, Debbie, Eliza, Francis… you get it. One night, I receive this text message from Megan:
Janice just died a suffocating death
I saved that text for over a year. I was saddened when I bought a new phone and couldn’t transfer my saved messages.
Anyway, one day at work I received an email from Megan informing me to disregard the tornado that had ripped through our basement that morning. According to her, her “SPIDAR” had gone off while she was blow drying her hair. She quickly looked out into the hall to see Trixy scurry underneath the couch. Immediate action was taken and before Megan could control herself, the couch was overturned, cushions were scattered on the floor and she spray gunned Trixy until she crumpled up into a ball and died. Megan then went to get the vacuum to suck Trixy up, but had somehow been distracted and had left the basement in disarray.
I was pleased to be able to witness the aftermath when I returned home from work. Well done Megan. Well done.
Now, this tale of our spider woes was only to demonstrate the awesomeness that is my friend Megan. Megan loves these funny quotes from Anne Taintor and recently I have seen them everywhere. They are freaking hilarious – just like my friend Meg. Here is for a good laugh. Enjoy ya’ll: