Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I"m no lesbian, but after my last date I might consider it.*

I feel a little sad that no one commented on my last post.

I guess that is what I get for not posting for nearly 2 weeks.

BUT, my good to honest excuse is that I had a really bad date two weeks ago that has seriously scarred me and I have no desire to be social or converse with people in general. Ok, maybe not that bad. But I am currently against men. They disgust me and I am convinced all single men are losers.

That sounds bitter, yes?

Well, tell me what you would do when a 33 year old male picks you up for a date 30 minutes late (strike 1) on a Friday night, only to take you to get ice cream (strike 2. Um, I like to eat. A lot. So please feed me) and then take you back to his house to watch a movie (strike 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9) where he then proceeds to practically force you to kiss him (strike 10 - 1000). Yep, you would be scarred too. Oh, and then to top it off, have him text you the next night at 11:50 pm asking "what are you doing?"

Good hell. I just turned into a booty call. Don't worry Dad, I ignored him.

Seriously, I haven't had this bad of a reaction to a date since I was like 20. I am actually physically repulsed by men right now. This date was just the icing on a very big cake of losers that I have met over the past few months. As much as I believe that all the single men left are losers, I have to be honest with myself and think that there must be something wrong with me if these are the only men I am attracting.

So, until I have done a full investigation on myself, I am taking a hiatus from men. I really think it's the best thing for all of us.

*I'm really not going to try lesbianism. Don't worry Mom. You'll get grand babies from me one day.

13 comments:

Daybreaking Dickersons said...

I was wondering about our lunch date yesterday, you were looking at me a little different and I swear our feet touched under the table. Maybe we shouldn't go out alone anymore.

The Tingey's said...

You know why your dated sucked? Because you didn't let me set you up with my bro-in-law. You need to give me a second chance. This is the last time I am going to ask you and believe me that is a BAD thing if you don't take me up on the offer.

The Tingey's said...

I still think you're great regardless of what you decide.

Kim said...

Nat, would it help if you required that each of your new dates sits down for an interview with me before they take you out?

Natalie said...

Tempting dad. Very tempting.

Penel said...

As you said, some day you will produce GRAND babies for me. The wait will be worth it, I promise! Take up the Tingey's offer for a fix up and if the bro-in-law sucks as a date, blast the heck out of the Tingey's in your next blog. (I'm sure they are lovely people)

Mar said...

I once swore off men and then I met one on the internet and things have never been the same. They'll get ya when you least expect it.

Also, you're a catch times ten and if I was a lesbian....

handymom said...

Oh my GOSH! I'm still laughing. A lot. Sorry your bad date was such great entertainment for me, but hey, it's all about me, right? :) Sucky, but a life lesson. You'll be fine my friend. Just fine. Some guy is going to come along who deserves you and you'll see what it is you've been waiting for and why you were waiting. I know it. Keep the faith. Meantime, keep writing about spastic men and the women who despise them.

Btw, I recently wrote on my blog about the national census stats on the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women in Utah. It's good news for you...hang in there :)

http://dunnthat.wordpress.com/

Jinny Snow said...

On the internet, Mar? Hmmmmm

Sara said...

I randomly stalk you (Not in a freaky way - I don't know where I found a link to your blog, but your writing is entertaining enough that I bookmarked you a few months ago) and I just have to say I'm sorry for your icky date. Sounds truly obnoxious, and I hope that there is some light just around the corner for you in that category...

Anna said...

Oh how I know the feelings.
What a d bag.

take a hiatus. you deserve one. then perhaps your eternal mate will have gotten back home from his mission....
what?! no cougar blood in you?
they are bright eyed bushy tailed and easily moldable. consider it.
:)

f1trey said...

im sorry....... that was bad..... fool you once is enough.......next time end the night early.....

Kelsey said...

Haha.... oh, honey... the story is still funny (in a rediculous, I can't believe that idiot kind of way).... So sorry I introduced you to him!