Yesterday, I was driving home from work and someone was calling me from an unknown number. The area code was something like like 228 and I thought it might be someone from work. So, out of sheer panic, I answered. Fail. Never answer calls from unknown numbers. Because I then proceeded to have one of the most awkward phone conversations of my life.
I have changed names as to not embarrass anyone, but the rest of this transcript is very accurate. I have not over-exaggerated anything. This is just my life. Oh, and I have also put in italics my thoughts as the conversation was going.
Anonymous Caller: Hi Natalie, this is Paul from the ward
Me: oh, hi
Paul: I have it on the list that you are coming to the ward activity on Saturday
Me: Yes, yes I am
Paul: Great. Would you like to help out at the ward activity on Saturday.
Me:[No, not really.] Sure, what do you need help with?
Me:[anything? Wtf? Am i now supposed to start listing off things I think he might need help with? I'm confused.] Well did you have something specific in mind?
P: Well, I remember being at your house one night and you were doing something really crafty. So could you make a really crafty sign? Or maybe we could use help in buying food and putting it in coolers.
Me: [He must have the wrong Natalie. I do not have a crafty bone in my body] Um, i'm not crafty. And I actually don't really have the time to make a really crafty sign. I could go to the store and get food though if you need me to.
P: Well, we could really use a crafty sign. Could you help with that? Like, could you get together tomorrow night to help?
Me: [Tomorrow night? Friday? Um no.] Ok, I am not crafty. And I actually have plans tomorrow. But, I am more than willing to go to the store if you tell me what you need.
P: Well, we already have people going to costco to get food, so we need a crafty sign.
Me: [wow, he is REALLY pushing this CRAFTY sign business. And why mention you need help with food if you don't actually need help with food?] Ok, I can make a sign. But it is not going to be crafty. What do you need on the sign? What is it being used for?
P: We'll put it in the parking lot so people know where to go.
Me: Ok, so a direction sign. Sure I can do that.
P: Ok great. You'll make a crafty sign with bubbly letters. Great.
Me: [if he says the word "crafty" one more time I am going to lose my shit. And what? Where did he all of a sudden get "bubbly letters" from?] Um, like I said, I am not crafty. I can make a sign. But I make no promises on it being crafty.
P: Well do you at least have girly handwriting?
Me: Yes, I do. It will be legible.
P: ok, that will do.
Paul went about this all all the wrong way. All he needed to say was "I could use your help in creating a sign to put up in the parking lot directing people where to go. Could you meet me at the ward a little bit early on Saturday and help me make it?"
The best part of this whole story is I just got a voice mail from him. He told me someone else already asked another girl in the ward to make a sign and "she seemed really excited to make it".
Good for her. I'm sure she'll stamp, sticker,flower and glue glitter all over that sign. It will be so pretty.
I'll show up and then kick dirt on it.