Last night Mackenzi and I went to the grocery store so she could pick up some toothpaste. Apparently, this small task required two of us. Grocery stores have been known to suck people in and only release them after they have dropped a good $40. Mackenzi must have needed my support and strong will power to hold her back from spending money. The flaw in her plan: I have no will power of my own. In fact, I often encourage my friends to spend money. That way, my spending habits seem less substantial and I feel better about myself. It's an evil plan, but one that has worked well in the past for me.
Note to friends: This disability of mine comes in all shapes and forms. Do not be fooled. Common and/or typical persuasive techniques include phrases like, "Oh sure, Sue, that sweater looks really good on you. In fact, you should get two. One in black and one in white." or "You definitely need that pair of shoes. I can't think of anything in your closet that resembles it. Well, maybe the shoes you are wearing right now, only they have a small strap across the front. So yea, get those. They are totally different."
To make a long story short, not only did Mackenzi start to acquire things that she didn't initially go in the store for, but soon I was picking up items too. Milk, yogurt, hairspray, condoms, oatmeal...oh wait... not oatmeal. Anyway, our arms became so full with all these items that we grabbed the closest cart available:
Man, why didn't we have shopping carts like this when I was a kid? Kids are so spoiled these days. I was tempted to ask Mackenzi to squeeze inside the cart car, but I refrained. Mainly, I was worried that the small social society of Dan's Foods would judge the young, unwed, childless lady pushing the child's cart and think, "That poor lady. Look at her push that cart wishing she had a child inside it." I would have said back to them, "Poor lady?? Man, why do you think I bought the condoms?"
Note: Mom, don't worry, no condoms were actually purchased. Give ya a scare did I?