Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I should be your budget planner...

Last night Mackenzi and I went to the grocery store so she could pick up some toothpaste. Apparently, this small task required two of us. Grocery stores have been known to suck people in and only release them after they have dropped a good $40. Mackenzi must have needed my support and strong will power to hold her back from spending money. The flaw in her plan: I have no will power of my own. In fact, I often encourage my friends to spend money. That way, my spending habits seem less substantial and I feel better about myself. It's an evil plan, but one that has worked well in the past for me.

Note to friends: This disability of mine comes in all shapes and forms. Do not be fooled. Common and/or typical persuasive techniques include phrases like, "Oh sure, Sue, that sweater looks really good on you. In fact, you should get two. One in black and one in white." or "You definitely need that pair of shoes. I can't think of anything in your closet that resembles it. Well, maybe the shoes you are wearing right now, only they have a small strap across the front. So yea, get those. They are totally different."

To make a long story short, not only did Mackenzi start to acquire things that she didn't initially go in the store for, but soon I was picking up items too. Milk, yogurt, hairspray, condoms, oatmeal...oh wait... not oatmeal. Anyway, our arms became so full with all these items that we grabbed the closest cart available:


Man, why didn't we have shopping carts like this when I was a kid? Kids are so spoiled these days. I was tempted to ask Mackenzi to squeeze inside the cart car, but I refrained. Mainly, I was worried that the small social society of Dan's Foods would judge the young, unwed, childless lady pushing the child's cart and think, "That poor lady. Look at her push that cart wishing she had a child inside it." I would have said back to them, "Poor lady?? Man, why do you think I bought the condoms?"

Note: Mom, don't worry, no condoms were actually purchased. Give ya a scare did I?

9 comments:

MOM said...

Darn, I was hoping there was a nice young man in your life. Those things also come in "glow in the dark" - NOT from personal experiance mind you, but from a certain lady in my book club!

Mar said...

McKenzi fitting in the cart: possible. You using the condoms: highly unlikely. :)

Natalie said...

Mom,
Awesome! So, what you are saying is as long as I am dating someone, I can have all the sex that I want? Great! And, when I get inpregnated I will just tell the Bishop, "My mom said it was ok!" :)

MandoRama said...

Word to the wise: Costco sells condoms in bulk. Considering how much sex you are having, Natlie, buying them there could save you a fortune.

Vic and Lindsay said...

You sound a little bit like me...Dang! We need some money management it sounds like. But at least we have fun stuff. Love all your posts Nat, you are so creative!!

Diania said...

Some stupid lady once tagged me in the ankle with one of those stupid carts. I was 9 months pregnant and misrable. It hurt so bad, I was crying in the grocery store. She didn't even say sorry.

Tiff said...

ok, so I ran into your blog from clicking on a comment from one of my friend's friend's blogs...,make sense? Random though! And can I say that you have the funniest stories ever? And your Mom's comment was HILLARIOUS! HA! See ya!

Lori said...

Love it! One of the best posts yet! You can take a simple trip to the grocery store and turn it into a hilarious post! I am still waiting for you to write a book...I will be the first to buy it! Thanks for the laughs!

Amy Buff said...

Ok, what is cool is when you have a friend that is funny enough to really fit into one of those things (Kristen Gardner), yup I've got the picture proof! Someday I might show you and you'll laugh your head off!