Monday, October 15, 2007

The street, boat, rope and car ate my face

I have an uncanny ability to injure myself when I go on trips. I don't know how I do it, but if someone is going to get hurt, just plan on it being me.

One time when I lived in Washington, DC, Hailey came to visit me. I decided to take her shopping in Georgetown. Not a mere 15 minutes into shopping, I tripped coming out of the Steve Madden store, fell and twisted my ankle severely. Tripping was not even the embarrassing part. What was more embarrassing was falling out of the store on to a very busy sidewalk full of shoppers. If my hands hadn't caught me, the sidewalk would have had a nice imprint of my face on it. I twisted my ankle so bad I thought I had seriously sprained it. I could barely walk the rest of the day.

Another incident was on a family trip to Dominican Republic. We were out scuba diving and the conditions were less than stellar. There were 20 of us stuck on a boat the size of a small dingy. No lie. To make a long story short, I was trying to fling myself on to the boat when a ginormous wave came and smashed my face into the side of the boat. I got on the boat missing 1/2 of my front tooth. I cried. My family laughed. I got mad. They stopped laughing. I looked like a hick of the rest of the trip.

This summer, at my ward ski trip, I was attacked by a ski rope. I was sitting in the back of my friend Steve's boat - actually, I was lying down in the back of Steve's boat. I had to lie down because the ski rope is attached to a pole that is in the middle of the boat. And if you don't lie down, the rope will cut off your head. Well, we had reached the end of the bay and we had to make a sharp turn to turn the boat around. Apparently, I was not lying down low enough and before I knew what was happening, the rope was scrapping the skin off my face. Naturally, I took a picture.

And, in the most recent trip to Europe, our rental car ate my face. Whoever the moron is that made the VW Minivan/wagon that we rented, should have known not to put the pull down latch in the center of the door. Because when you do that, you have to duck out of the way to pull down the back hatch door.

Well, on the morning we were leaving to come home, I was the last one to put my bag in the back. I had a hat on that was obstructing the view of what was above me. I looked up just enough to grab the handle that would pull the back door shut. The door was quite heavy and I knew I would have to pull hard to get it to close. Well, with all the might my wimpy little arms could muster, I pulled the hatch down.... right onto my face. My siblings erupt into laughter...that is until they notice I am balling and my nose was bleeding. I cut a nice big gash at the center of my nose. This picture doesn't do it justice. I am now wearing my glasses in a weak attempt to cover the hideous that is my face.

My poor, poor little face - it always is the target for injuries.


Miranda said...

Since I am a fellow accident-prone girl (I once needed stitches in my head for falling on my notebook, sprained my pinkie getting into the fridge and sliced my finger while flying a kite), I feel for you, I really do. But I think I'd take a cut to the nose for a trip to Europe. Fair trade.

Diania said...

I once fell down the stairs and strained all the ligaments in my foot and couldn't really walk for like a month.

Also, you are right, the picture doesn't do justice. You look much worse in person :).