*I stole this "memorandum" idea from my good friend Mar. This will not be a recurring post feature, but is something that needed to be said...
To: Mormon Couples of The World
CC: My Blog Readers
Re: Church PDA
After 8 years of attending a singles ward, and numerous times sitting behind couples like you, I find it necessary to write you a memorandum stating my dislike of your PDA during Sunday School - or any church meeting to be exact.
I understand you are in love, or lust, or like - but please refrain yourself for 3 hours on Sunday. There is a time and a place - and church isn't one of them.
I do not appreciate watching you both try and sit on one chair. There are chairs in the classrooms on purpose - not love seats. One chair per person. And watching the poor girl in this relationship sit with one cheek on her chair and one on yours is more than I can handle. You might want to talk to the bishop if you would like to see other forms of seating. But for now, can you please sit in your respective spaces.
I also would like you to stop whispering to each other. Yes, I could thank you for being polite and whispering, but you talk so softly that 1)I can't hear what you are saying (I mean, you are already distracting me from paying attention to the lesson, you can at least have the decency of letting me hear what you are talking about). And 2) You are whispering so softly that your lips are practically in your boyfriend/girlfriends ear. It is kind of disgusting. Actually, really disgusting. Please stop.
And one more thing, if you are going to nuzzle your face in your girlfriends neck - please do it in the privacy of your bedroom. I really REALLY don't want to watch it. And you know what, either does the Big Guy Upstairs.
Also to note, the fact that you have to share your scriptures is another topic in and of itself.
Furthermore, your PDA fest has distracted me so much that I have no idea what the Sunday School lesson was on today. In fact, I was so distracted that I made Kenzi take a picture on her phone - only because I was sitting to close to that "action" to get a decent shot.
In conclusion, if you are one of these couples - please stop. It's distracting. It's gross. And really, it really just makes me sick.