Dear Gross Old Man I Sat Next to at the Movie Theater,
It was unfortunate that I was late to House Bunny (the movie) last night and the seat my friends saved me was right next to you. I would have preferred if you had moved over one seat - you did have two empty seats next you to. However, you insisted on sitting next to me.
I was disturbed that you were seeing House Bunny on a Friday night by yourself. I truly hated your moaning whenever the "house bunny" would come on screen. However, your dirty comments to all the sexual innuendo almost pushed me over the edge. I should have just moved seats. Instead, I spent 2 hours practically sitting on Mackenzi's lap - because I just couldn't get far enough away from you.
You left the theater before the lights turned on, and so you forced me to run after you to take a picture.
You have scarred me for life. Please do not return to any movie that I choose to see in the next forever.