Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Wait...I'll get my pepper spray.

Now, I think I have a fairly good sense of humor. I don't think I take things too seriously and I can laugh at most things that might seem a little off color. However, I will now tell you a disturbing tale of mystery, fright and most of all freaking annoyance.

Last night at around 10:45 I decided to get ready for bed. April and I were the only ones home and she was already in her room (which by the way, is at the front of the house - important fact for this story). When all of a sudden I hear someone on our porch. I freeze in place trying to hear if it is Brooke or Mackenzi trying to get in. But no. All I hear is rustling and all of a sudden, April flings open her door and says, "I hear someone in the bushes." Now, you can only imagine the horror that two singles girls feel as their imaginations run wild as they picture some freak breaking into their house.

We both stood there frozen listening to what was going on outside. There was a loud bang at the door and we ran into April's room and locked the door behind us. April, having already taken out her contacts, couldn't see for s*^#. So, we creep over to the window and we see a guy dressed in dark sweats and a hoodie pulled over his head. He is ripping open our bags of leaves and running up to our porch.

April and I stand frozen peering through the blinds. The Ass outside our house (and yes, I capitalize the word Ass because it is what I have now named this unknown man) looks up and sees me. He continues to rip open one more bag and run up to our door. It was too dark outside for me to identify who he was. And again, April pretty much couldn't see anything.

I get a unknown serge of courage and decide I am going to open our front door and chase the Ass off. I opened the door and found this:



Are you effin' kidding me? Ok, yes, at first we might have laughed and took some pictures for the blog, but when reality set in and we discovered that our entire yard had been trashed - it is then that I became pissed... and scared.

We only saw one guy. One single guy!!! Who would do that? Was it a total stranger? Or was it one of our friends? And if it was one of our friends, he certainly isn't my friend anymore. Toilet papering I can handle. Fireworks and I handle. Stupid pranks are more than likely very funny. But when you scare two innocent girls and trash their yard - that is when it isn't funny. So, if you are the Ass that trashed our yard, consider yourself warned. I am not scared to use my pepper spray (which I will buy at Home Depot today).

Oh, and side note: Our poor little neighbor heard all this commotion and called the police. They showed up 10 minutes after the guy ran off.

12 comments:

Diania said...

It was me. Sorry. I love late night pranks 30 miles away from home. I just left Finn in the car.

Miranda said...

Don't worry. I'll protect you from Diania with my sweet ninja skills.

Mar said...

I bet it was somebody you met on eHarmony.

Brooke Pettegrew said...

Oh how I wish I would have been there for this. I would have thrown the mouse traps at his head! Your post was hillarious, however our yard is not.

Sammy said...

I agree with mar, this has eHarmony written all over it. I do believe your reaction is going to encourage more of this behavior. This prank is a little on the lame side, especially if they got caught in the process, the shock is taken out of it.

Beth Clayton said...

I don't like scary stories! I was so nervous reading your post title. I think it was a friend or stalker. Probably a boy, it's like the kindergartner who kicks you when he has a crush on you, only this person is 20 something and should be bringing roses to his crush instead of bags of leaves. Oh and while you are at Home Depot, I would also pick up a sign, "Beware of Dog". Good Luck!

Nicole said...

wow, that is absolutely ridiculous--scary and obnoxious, all rolled into one.

dever4 said...

Nat, screw the pepper spray. This had 12 gauge shot gun written all over it. I think that that would do the job of getting the person to stop.

Let the Good Times Roll! said...

That is ridiculous, what a mess. What a loser, seriously.

Abi said...

seriously . . . that sucks big time. . .

MandoRama said...

I have a much better name for that guy than "Ass" . . . would you like me to elaborate? No, no, your sweet mother reads this blog, I'll restrain myself. For now.

Sarah said...

You should go to one of those old lady taser parties. I hear you can get one in pink. That'd be something to see, taser the Ass.