If you have good shoes, you will be one step closer to talking to me

I just realized that I haven't posted anything in over a week. However, as I type I also realize that the reason that I haven't written is because my life is boring.

I thought about posting about the party that I went to on Saturday night, but that will just depress me. But since I'm thinking about it...I might as well.

Parties are not and have never been the highlight of my social calendar. I go to them because I have to. Because new people are hard to come by. And because they provide me with new people on Facebook to look at, stalk or debate about becoming friends with.

And so, in tradition of what my last two posts have been, here is a snippet of a conversation between me and a friend* at the party:

Her: Hey, that guy is cute
Me: Go talk to him
Her: Doubtful
Me: Why not? You look hot.
Her: Yea, not happening
Me: Just do it. What do you have to lose?

5 minutes later

Me: So, are you going to talk to him?
Her: No. Look at his shoes
Me: (Looking at his shoes and noticing the ugliness) Oh no! Yeah, good call.
Her: And that is why I'm still single

This conversation did actually happen. But really, the dude had his shirt slightly open to show his freshly waxed chest and he had more gel in his hair that I use in a month. So really, the shoes were just the first of what were many red flags.

I by far was one of the youngest at the party. It should have made me feel really good about myself. However, I stood there thinking, "this is what my life has come to? Going to parties with 40 year old men (not exaggerating) and chicks that are more dolled up than Britney Spears at the VMAs? Shoot me now."

Needless to say, I will not be attending any more of those parties. I'd rather stay home and chill with my cats**.


*Friend asked to remain anonymous
** I don't have cats - but after this party, I'm tempted to get one.

UPDATE: As per Mandarama's comment I will explain the shoes said gentleman was wearing. I looked for them online but was unable to find them. But, they were big, clunky, chunky, round toed, black suede monstrosities. You know, the sole of the ENTIRE shoe was easily 2 inches.