Monday, January 19, 2009

Not even the thin hospital gown could hide my embarrassment

Warning: Awkward story below. Nothing graphic - just awkward. This post is about my humiliating story at the gyno. So, if you can't handle a humiliating gyno story, I should tell you to stop reading. And if you keep reading and are uncomfortable, I can't say I didn't warn you.

I am never going tanning again. Well, strike that. I am never going tanning again right before I go to the gyno.

Ok, so since I got all tan in Mexico and am totally vain and waned to keep my tan up, I went tanning last week. Normally, I cover "the girls" because nothing is more uncomfortable than boobs that are burned and peeling. Now, normally I wouldn't care if my boobs were peeling because no one ever sees them. Well, expect for me. And that doesn't count.

So, my boobs are peeling. Again, normally not a problem. But yesterday, major problem. For when Doctor had to give me the boob exam and goes, "oh yea, you're peeling" - I about fell over and died. Literally died. All I could do is laugh and then close my eyes and pretend that this wasn't my life.

I had tried to warn Doctor before the exam started that I just got back from Mexico and that I was peeling all over. However, I also told him I was with my family and hence probably wasn't sun bathing on a nude beach. So really, there was no reason to have boobs that were peeling.

So there it is. I'm never going tanning again. Yep, never tanning again.


Dave and Nat said...

You make me laugh :) I am sure he has seen it before right?

Daybreaking Dickersons said...

That is awesome.

MandoRama said...

I love that it's THIS embarrassing incident, and not the high risk of skin cancer, that has made you decide to nix tanning. Smart girl.

P.S. - What's wrong with stories about gynos? I love the ones at Greek Souvlaki!

Sam and Jess said...

I've got one to top that. At my first gyno appointment EVER the power went out so the nurse had to hold the flashlight while the doctor examined.

JustMe said...

I've been stalking your blog for a while. You're very funny and a good writer. As to my story -

Several years ago I went to the obg-yn for my yearly check-up. I was given a PAPER cover up the size of a washcloth for my top, and a slightly larger paper (hand towel size) for my bottom.

I'll be honest, I'm middle-aged and my family is from Butts County, Georgia. Yep, I'm serious - just look at the size of our butts.

So there I sat, with 2 very small pieces of paper in a cold exam room for over 45 minutes. (Lest you think I was inappropriately attired, let me hasten to assure you that I was wearing a very nice strand of pearls.) I finally set to heck with it, got dressed and left.

I wrote a scathing letter to the doctor and the medical practice. The doctor called and apologized and said he had been on the phone with his pastor. I started to suggest that Christian charity should start with naked patients in his office. I did go back (once) but I took a sheet and insisted on speaking with the doctor before I undressed.